I am not a big fan of Halloween. It appears to me that this day gives people a chance to display ugliness that most of us would rather not look at. I have never liked anything that smacked of “horror,” and I don’t find horror amusing. I made peace long ago with the “trick or treat” concept, because I enjoy the little ones in costume. Playing dressup is fine. Being as ugly and revolting as possible is not on my bucket list anywhere.
However, as I was thinking about a personal challenge lately, comments about the upcoming Halloween events,comments sprinkled liberally with the word "haunted," caused me to reflect on the way writers can be haunted by what they have written.
It happens like this. A writer has a great idea and writes extensively on the subject. The writer may engage people in conversation on this great idea as well. The writer writes and speaks with conviction about principles for living, and assures others that these truths are part of a solid foundation for successful living. Then reality implodes on the writer. That great idea, or those firm principles, may be ground into dust, or it may stand firm. Either way, the writer is called to account. Was this great idea really that great? Are the firm principles really firm, or are they really more like quicksand?
It happened to me.
Last winter, I read Thomas Mann’s fabulous novel "Joseph and His Brothers." I had the good fortune to acquire a copy of the latest translation, and that meant that the translation I read avoided the earlier tendency to couch the dialogue in forms reminiscent of the King James Bible. This translation used contemporary language and idioms. It was completely engaging, and I gorged myself on it like a starving man just rescued from a desert island. Thomas Mann did not simply retell and enhance the story; he built his work on a foundation of intense research that fleshed out the setting and culture masterfully. Further, the book was as much a statement of faith as it was a novel, and I was as completely captivated by his testimony as by his storytelling. This novel is 1492 pages long, but it is worth the effort. In fact, I didn’t perceive it as effort to read this book; I could hardly put it down.
I did put it down regularly, however, in order to go to the Bible and read the biblical text for myself. I did not want to confuse Mann’s storytelling with the revealed text. I didn’t want to mistake Mann’s testimony for revealed truth. I did not want the fact that I was completely consumed by this book to interfere with my own responsibility to read and understand the biblical revelation for myself.
The outcome of this reading was what seemed like a huge discovery. It appeared to me that among the many values of the Joseph story was a persistent theme of victories that looked like defeat in the life of Joseph, God’s victories that overshadowed any apparent defeats in Joseph’s experience. I found in this story a model for us all to use when facing the challenges in our lives, events that feel like defeat. The story of Joseph clearly demonstrated some principles for facing events in our own lives that might initially look like defeats or failures.
In the Joseph story I uncovered four foundation principles, and as I began to write about them, I realized that this looked like material for a book. I gave it the working title "Don’t Panic: How the life of Joseph teaches us to thrive when the world turns upside down." In August, I had an opportunity to teach at church, and I used that opportunity to teach the four principles in four sessions as a workshop with the same title as my book manuscript. The four principles are these:
· Trust always in God, not in people
· Know that God is sovereign always, even when it looks as if his perfect plan is being defeated
· Build relationships in keeping with the teaching to love our neighbors
· Do not become a victim
The experience of teaching the workshop enhanced my understanding of the material, and I was deep in the work of crafting my manuscript when disaster struck. I became sick, seriously sick. After being sick a week at home, I was admitted to the hospital where I stayed for ten days. I had surgery and was sent home for recovery expected to take no less than 4 weeks and perhaps as much as 8. Talk about the world turning upside down!
For many days, the doctors scratched their heads trying to understand what was wrong with me. My husband and I felt real fear as it seemed that nothing they tried was making any progress against my illness. Then, after the surgery, I felt much better, so it was clearly the right treatment. However, the surgery was so drastic that recovery from the treatment as destined to be slow and painful.
During these days, I often thought about the workshop I had taught. I thought about the principles that had seemed to manifest themselves in the face of the disasters that fell one after another into Joseph’s life. Here I was in the midst of a disaster that made me ask, can I really live by these principles in this very real challenge in my own life? The words I had written and taught rose up to haunt me. I asked myself if I had taught truth, if my writing had real value for everyone, including me, or was it all a big sham? I had plenty of time in my hospital bed to contemplate these questions.
I asked myself if I really trusted God. I was in a huge teaching hospital where the finest minds were being applied to my case. Yet it was clear that these minds were being seriously challenged by the realities of my illness. I really could not trust that these minds by themselves would find a successful treatment for me. I put my trust in God and prayed that he would guide those brilliant minds to find the right solution. I saw with great clarity that my fate was beyond the capacity of mere mortals to handle.
I asked myself, too, how this state of affairs could possibly fit into God’s perfect plan for me. Why would God want me to be so sick? Why would he want me to lose all this time from productive work that was necessary for my husband and me to do the things we thought God had called us to do? This experience looked like a terrible backset to everything I thought I was supposed to accomplish in life. Then I began to realize that I was looking at the whole situation from the standpoint of my understanding in the reality bounded by time and space. In God’s reality, in the infinite and eternal realm where God reigns on his throne forever, things looked different. I had to trust him that this experience that looked like defeat to me was no defeat for him. I had to believe that God was still in charge of my fate.
I learned that relationships really do matter. As more and more people heard about my illness, we heard people say over and over, “We are praying for you.” My church prayed for me. My daughter’s church prayed for me. Friends all over the country prayed for me and asked their friends to pray for me. I was in the center of a great bath of prayer that sustained me and all the caregivers who were trying to help me get well. Larry and I were not alone. We were part of a vast family of believers who kept their petitions before God around the clock. We were wrapped up by the Holy Spirit and by all these prayers. I had prayed for others for years, but this was my first experience at being in the center of such a prayer storm. It was immensely comforting. My relationships of love and friendship truly did sustain me as I faced my scary health challenge.
I found, also, that I did not want to be a victim. I did ask frequently how this could have happened to me. I thought there had to be some explanation. I thought surely I could learn something not to do in the future in order to prevent such a disaster from recurring. The doctors told me that they could speculate about the cause, that they have a few hypotheses about the cause, but they really do not know with any certainty how this condition developed. There was no cause to blame, no fault to assign, no action to take against anything or anybody.
Further, after the surgery, there was a temptation of sorts to be a victim. I felt much, much better after surgery than before, because the raging bacterial invasion had been defeated. However, I still had to recover from the surgical wounds and bruises and I still had to be treated to kill off any remaining bacteria that might restart the infection if left alone. The war was won, but there were a lot of final skirmishes yet to be fought. I didn’t feel like eating, and if I did eat anything I couldn’t taste it. The inside of my mouth was shredded from all the tubes they had used during the surgery. I had tubes in the lung cavity, too, draining the surgical site for six days. The ribs that had been pushed apart in order to allow the surgeon to work really hurt as they began to return to their normal place. I could only find one position for sleeping that was even minimally comfortable. Everything I tried to do hurt in one way or another, and besides that, I was completely weary. I had no strength.
However, by the grace of God, I recognized how thankful I felt to be on the mend. I couldn’t see much value in wallowing in self-pity or in railing against circumstance. The truth was that being a victim would have doomed me to be an invalid for I don’t know how long. Abandoning victimhood meant that I could push forward with the strength I had and trust that my recovery would continue to give me more strength each day. And so it was.
The consequence of this dramatic interference with my plans was that my written and spoken words haunted me and tested my work in a very scientific way. When I wrote about the principles I saw demonstrated in Joseph’s life, I drew a logical conclusion from the written word. When I tested those truths in my own dark hours, the truths were confirmed in a powerful way. My experience proved that I had drawn the right conclusions. The teachings I thought were embedded in Joseph’s story proved to be true and reliable in my own life.
To be haunted this way and to find that my work was confirmed was a wonderful experience. I don’t think I want to go so far as to say that God made me sick so I would learn this truth, but I will say that the experiences of life always put a person’s stated values to the test. I pray never to write words that will come back to bite me in the crucible of life. I pray always to follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit when I prepare to write anything in order that my words may be true, even if I have not been in the refining fire with them.
I think every author needs to think about this experience. We are accountable to our readers for every word we write. We can be sure that we will be called up short by our readers if we fail to hold ourselves accountable for the truth of our work. We are all subject to be haunted by our words. If we have written with integrity, we need not be spooked by that experience.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
The Jesus You Can't Ignore
"Spiritual truth is not "academic" .... What you believe about God is the most important feature of your whole worldview. Look at it this way: of all the things you might ever study or reflect on, nothing could possibly be greater than God. So your view of Him automatically has more far-reaching ramifications than anything else in your belief system. What you think of God will automatically color how you think about everything else - especially how you prioritize values; how you determine right and wrong; and how you think of your own place in the universe. That in turn will surely determine how you act...."* writes John MacArthur.
Yes, Jesus is most often remembered as a meek and humble teacher who lovingly healed the sick, calmed the fears of his followers, and turned the other cheek. The author acknowledges these attributes, however, he seems to place more value and importance on the violent and angry actions of The Son of God.
The Jesus You Can Ignore is a detailed look at scriptures, paying special attention to the gospels and is informative and at times well-written but the book lacks balance. The author clearly and often pushes his interpretation of what is important for Christians to know ... and how to live their faith. John MacArthur comes across as passionate about his beliefs, yet impatient with Christians who have a more personal relationship with the gentle Jesus.
*(xvii-i)
Yes, Jesus is most often remembered as a meek and humble teacher who lovingly healed the sick, calmed the fears of his followers, and turned the other cheek. The author acknowledges these attributes, however, he seems to place more value and importance on the violent and angry actions of The Son of God.
The Jesus You Can Ignore is a detailed look at scriptures, paying special attention to the gospels and is informative and at times well-written but the book lacks balance. The author clearly and often pushes his interpretation of what is important for Christians to know ... and how to live their faith. John MacArthur comes across as passionate about his beliefs, yet impatient with Christians who have a more personal relationship with the gentle Jesus.
*(xvii-i)
Note: This book was provided by the publisher, Thomas Nelson, for review.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Writing is not a Solitary Sport by Katherine Harms
Most people think of writers as recluses. They just assume that writers hide out in attics and the deep woods where nobody will interfere with the torrent of words we need to etch on paper. There may be a few writers who can live and work in solitary splendor, but not many.
We writers know that we need a degree of isolation in order to be productive. I had friends in school who did their homework while watching television, but it never worked for me. I simply could not study and watch “Mash” at the same time. I cannot write and watch television, either. I cannot write and talk on the phone. I cannot write and cook dinner at the same time. Writing may intrude on cooking if I get a bright idea while I am waiting for water to boil, but to start a cooking project when I am momentarily stuck for the right phrase to close a chapter is counterproductive.
Nevertheless, I do need family and friends even though productive writing time requires isolation. I am not always sure they love hearing about what I am doing, but telling them encourages me. Sometimes their reactions to my narrative help me to craft a better story or to find a good resource I would never have thought of on my own. The fact that friends and family will ask me how I am doing with my projects motivates me to be sure I am actually making progress. Human relationships nourish me in many ways. I need them in order to be a better writer.
Recently that truth came home in a deeply special way. I have four friends whom I regard as my circle of mutual encouragement in the Christian faith. Only one of them is a writer. Their place in this circle was established over years of shared prayers and conversations about the challenge of living faithful lives. One of them is currently exploring a new direction in her own sense of call to serve our Lord. We recently spent a lovely summer afternoon talking about the art and gift of discernment, trying to clarify together what she perceives as her next step. In the process, I shared with her some relevant insights I had gained while working on my current book draft. She shared with me, and I shared with her.
The next day, I received an e-mail from her. She said to me, “The Holy Spirit is convicting me to further the kingdom through your writing. Would you like to borrow the Interpreters Bible volume on Ecclesiastes you were looking at yesterday?” That e-mail arrived at a time when I felt very discouraged about my project, almost ready to abandon it, even though the day before it had seemed terribly important. My friend could not know that the enthusiasm and confidence I had expressed to her had suffered meltdown as I sat empty-worded in front of my computer screen the very next day.
When I read her mail, it was as if a cool breeze had brushed my cheek on a hot day. The book in question had belonged to her beloved pastor father, a man who now rests among the cloud of witnesses who encourage all of us in faith. She had brought the collection of books out and touched them lovingly, showing me this fabulous resource that she would use in her own studies. For her to let me borrow even one, even if only temporarily, was a huge risk. What if I damaged it or lost it or who knows what? I realized that in this gift God was telling me that this project is important to him. My friend’s faithful encouragement spoke dramatically of God’s desire for me to get over myself and get back on track to do the work he had given me to do.
My friend could not do the work for me. My friend could not discern God’s call for me. All she could do was to hear and obey God’s message to her. Still, if she had ignored God’s nudge, I might still be sitting in front of a blank screen, or worse, I might be off working on some less important task while my manuscript goes dead. Thanks to my friend and her faithful encouragement, my manuscript is growing and my project is alive and well.
I may put words on paper in isolation, but I know very well that I need my friends. We all need healthy relationships with friends and family in order to be the best writers we can be. Jesus said it very well when he said that the most important things in the world are to love God above all and to love our neighbors. When everybody is on track with that teaching, our neighbors love us, too, and that is a rich blessing for a writer.
We writers know that we need a degree of isolation in order to be productive. I had friends in school who did their homework while watching television, but it never worked for me. I simply could not study and watch “Mash” at the same time. I cannot write and watch television, either. I cannot write and talk on the phone. I cannot write and cook dinner at the same time. Writing may intrude on cooking if I get a bright idea while I am waiting for water to boil, but to start a cooking project when I am momentarily stuck for the right phrase to close a chapter is counterproductive.
Nevertheless, I do need family and friends even though productive writing time requires isolation. I am not always sure they love hearing about what I am doing, but telling them encourages me. Sometimes their reactions to my narrative help me to craft a better story or to find a good resource I would never have thought of on my own. The fact that friends and family will ask me how I am doing with my projects motivates me to be sure I am actually making progress. Human relationships nourish me in many ways. I need them in order to be a better writer.
Recently that truth came home in a deeply special way. I have four friends whom I regard as my circle of mutual encouragement in the Christian faith. Only one of them is a writer. Their place in this circle was established over years of shared prayers and conversations about the challenge of living faithful lives. One of them is currently exploring a new direction in her own sense of call to serve our Lord. We recently spent a lovely summer afternoon talking about the art and gift of discernment, trying to clarify together what she perceives as her next step. In the process, I shared with her some relevant insights I had gained while working on my current book draft. She shared with me, and I shared with her.
The next day, I received an e-mail from her. She said to me, “The Holy Spirit is convicting me to further the kingdom through your writing. Would you like to borrow the Interpreters Bible volume on Ecclesiastes you were looking at yesterday?” That e-mail arrived at a time when I felt very discouraged about my project, almost ready to abandon it, even though the day before it had seemed terribly important. My friend could not know that the enthusiasm and confidence I had expressed to her had suffered meltdown as I sat empty-worded in front of my computer screen the very next day.
When I read her mail, it was as if a cool breeze had brushed my cheek on a hot day. The book in question had belonged to her beloved pastor father, a man who now rests among the cloud of witnesses who encourage all of us in faith. She had brought the collection of books out and touched them lovingly, showing me this fabulous resource that she would use in her own studies. For her to let me borrow even one, even if only temporarily, was a huge risk. What if I damaged it or lost it or who knows what? I realized that in this gift God was telling me that this project is important to him. My friend’s faithful encouragement spoke dramatically of God’s desire for me to get over myself and get back on track to do the work he had given me to do.
My friend could not do the work for me. My friend could not discern God’s call for me. All she could do was to hear and obey God’s message to her. Still, if she had ignored God’s nudge, I might still be sitting in front of a blank screen, or worse, I might be off working on some less important task while my manuscript goes dead. Thanks to my friend and her faithful encouragement, my manuscript is growing and my project is alive and well.
I may put words on paper in isolation, but I know very well that I need my friends. We all need healthy relationships with friends and family in order to be the best writers we can be. Jesus said it very well when he said that the most important things in the world are to love God above all and to love our neighbors. When everybody is on track with that teaching, our neighbors love us, too, and that is a rich blessing for a writer.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Susan Isaacs on Writing
Author Susan Isaacs is currently on tour with her latest novel As Husbands Go.
"Writing is sometimes an art, and it certainly is a craft. But it's also a job. I go to work five or six days a week (depending how far along I am with my work-in-progress). Like most other people, there are days I would rather be lying in a hammock reading or going to a movie with a friend. But whether you're an artist or an accountant, you still have to show up at work. Otherwise, it is unlikely to get done."
The bestselling novelist advises to write for yourself by gazing inward
at what is unique and true in you ... a copy of the article can be found at her website:
Forbes Article - Author Janet Evanovich
It's a Plum deal for Janet Evanovich.
http://blogs.forbes.com/bizblog/2010/07/15/is-janet-evanovich-worth-50-million/?rss_people
http://blogs.forbes.com/bizblog/2010/07/15/is-janet-evanovich-worth-50-million/?rss_people
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Meet The Author Kyoko Mori
Breathe Books
Wednesday, July 14, 7 p.m. - 9 p.m.
Meet Kyoko Mori the author of YARN: Remembering the Way Home
Yarn combines memoir -- Mori's story as a Japanese woman trying to make a home in the Midwest, and later striking out on her own -- and knitting lore -- its history, meditations on knitting as a loose, intuitive, and forgiving craft. She will read from the book, talk about home-making and creativity, and invite attendees to discuss topics that are so important to smart, creative women: how to live as an independent home-maker and artist who is equally at home alone and with others. (free)
Breathe Books
810 W 36th Street
Baltimore, Maryland, 21211
410-235-7323
www.breathebooks.com
Susan L. Weis, proprietress
Wednesday, July 14, 7 p.m. - 9 p.m.
Meet Kyoko Mori the author of YARN: Remembering the Way Home
Yarn combines memoir -- Mori's story as a Japanese woman trying to make a home in the Midwest, and later striking out on her own -- and knitting lore -- its history, meditations on knitting as a loose, intuitive, and forgiving craft. She will read from the book, talk about home-making and creativity, and invite attendees to discuss topics that are so important to smart, creative women: how to live as an independent home-maker and artist who is equally at home alone and with others. (free)
Breathe Books
810 W 36th Street
Baltimore, Maryland, 21211
410-235-7323
www.breathebooks.com
Susan L. Weis, proprietress
Monday, July 12, 2010
Where Do We Find Miracles?
Being a writer is a tough slog. I think most of us would agree that what we really want is to have written. The process of writing is hard, even tedious. What we want is a letter from an editor accepting a completed project for publication. It is a major challenge to motivate and trick ourselves into doing the work it takes to get to the goal. One writer said that the key to success as a writer is KBOC – Keep Butt On Chair. I am working on a project right now that has been on my heart for months, and I still think it will be a miracle if I stay on task and finish it, despite the fact that it nags at me every minute that I am not working on it.
Some people think miracles only happen when five thousand people are fed with a little bit of bread and fish, or when a man born blind can suddenly see. I think God works another kind of miracle. The early Christian writer Irenaeus wrote, “The glory of God is a human being fully alive.” I believe God works miracles that bring us to that state of being fully alive, and I believe they happen in many walks of life, including writing.
Recently my husband and I faced our biggest challenge so far with our sailboat. The auxiliary diesel engine would not work, and we were outside the US in a place where we had no idea how to find a reliable diesel mechanic to help us. We concluded that we had to sail our boat back to the US, a very long voyage, without the engine, just like Columbus or Magellan did. Larry asked me one day, “Do you think we could sail this boat back without the engine?” and I replied, “Well, it is a sailboat, after all.”
Larry’s question was not idle or silly. One reason we have an auxiliary engine is that there are situations in which it is very difficult to maneuver under sail alone. We had always used our engine to get in and out of anchorages or to avoid the necessity of sail management during a storm. Without an engine we could not go into anchorages with tricky entrances, and we would not be able to douse the sails and turn on the engine if a storm arose.
We also needed our engine to charge our batteries. We needed electricity to run our electronic charts and our auto-pilot. Without electronic charts, we had to read positions from a handheld GPS, chart them on paper charts, and draw our course with a pencil. Without the auto-pilot, we had to steer manually 24 hours a day, trading positions at the helm every 2 hours.
Finally, we had always used the engine when cruising after dark. We had made round-the-clock passages before, but always with the engine and auto-pilot. None of our overnights had been longer than 50 hours, but this voyage would be six days under sail without an engine or an auto-pilot.
It was hard to convince ourselves to begin. It was a lot like sitting down to write and discovering sixteen things we needed to do before beginning the real task. We waited through one weather window by convincing ourselves it was too short. We waited through two days of the next weather window by convincing ourselves there was not enough wind. Unlike a writing project, we truly could not stop after we started, but like a writing project, we were beset with challenges to our successful completion. There was too much wind, or too little. An unanticipated current coupled with a lack of wind drove us south when we wanted to go north. We were battered by tempestuous seas, torrential downpours, and a wild ride in the Gulf Stream. We had to use every sailing skill we had ever learned or even heard of before we arrived at our destination. Was it a miracle that we arrived safely where we wanted to go?
I think it is exactly the same kind of miracle that happens when I finally complete a writing project and send it off to the editor I hope will love it. Before we departed on this voyage, we stood on the aft deck and prayed Psalm 62. This Psalm opens with these words:
For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from him comes my salvation.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall never be shaken.
We relied on God throughout our voyage. He kept the promise Jesus made to his followers as he ascended into heaven, saying, “I am with you always, to the end of the age.” We prayed at the end of each day, and we prayed through our troubles. When we looked up at a roiling wall of clouds filled with lightning and thunder, we prayed for courage. When we couldn’t figure out how to prevent ourselves from drifting onto a shallow bank, we prayed for guidance. When we had exhausted every skill we knew and still had not solved our problem, we prayed. We did not receive any ecstatic visions nor were we suddenly lifted out of our troubles. Instead, God nudged us in a more fruitful direction. He led us to rethink the obvious and see what was not obvious before.
It was a lot like helping a baby learn to walk. When the baby falls down, Mother doesn’t run every time and pick the baby up. Instead, she encourages him to laugh and try again. This is what God did for us, and like the baby, we learned and grew in the process.
The same thing happens when I write. God doesn’t write the piece for me. He doesn’t dictate the words. He inspires me to use to the fullest every gift he has given me. Then, after I have exhausted my gifts and my skills, he leads me one step further. I grow and mature, and like the baby learning to walk, I gain confidence and competence. I become more than I was when I started.
If anyone asked us now what was the best part of our trip this year, I would answer, “The voyage home.” We embarked on that passage due to a problem we could not solve, but making that passage blessed us in ways we could never have anticipated. We learned things we would never have learned if everything had continued to work as expected. It took God’s surprise to yank us out of our comfort zone so we could grow up as sailors. I think it is a miracle when God leads us to use his gifts to exhaustion and then, after we realize we must depend on him, he takes us forward to his wonderful surprise. He leads us to come fully alive.
That is what happens when I write, too. Some projects take me way beyond my comfort zone as a writer. I fidget. I check my email. I remember that I didn’t put cinnamon on my grocery list. I know I need to wade into my writing project, but it is hard. I see my goal, just as we could look at our charts and see our sailing destination, but I don’t see how to get there, just as we could not initially see how to escape a powerful current. I need to pray Psalm 62 and truly wait on the Lord. My own abilities are used up. I have stretched myself as far as I can go. If God wants me to write this project, then he will have to lead me. Like the baby learning to walk, I have fallen down, but like the encouraging mother, God calls my name and says, “Look here. Come to me!”
Katherine Harms
www.katherineharms.com
Some people think miracles only happen when five thousand people are fed with a little bit of bread and fish, or when a man born blind can suddenly see. I think God works another kind of miracle. The early Christian writer Irenaeus wrote, “The glory of God is a human being fully alive.” I believe God works miracles that bring us to that state of being fully alive, and I believe they happen in many walks of life, including writing.
Recently my husband and I faced our biggest challenge so far with our sailboat. The auxiliary diesel engine would not work, and we were outside the US in a place where we had no idea how to find a reliable diesel mechanic to help us. We concluded that we had to sail our boat back to the US, a very long voyage, without the engine, just like Columbus or Magellan did. Larry asked me one day, “Do you think we could sail this boat back without the engine?” and I replied, “Well, it is a sailboat, after all.”
Larry’s question was not idle or silly. One reason we have an auxiliary engine is that there are situations in which it is very difficult to maneuver under sail alone. We had always used our engine to get in and out of anchorages or to avoid the necessity of sail management during a storm. Without an engine we could not go into anchorages with tricky entrances, and we would not be able to douse the sails and turn on the engine if a storm arose.
We also needed our engine to charge our batteries. We needed electricity to run our electronic charts and our auto-pilot. Without electronic charts, we had to read positions from a handheld GPS, chart them on paper charts, and draw our course with a pencil. Without the auto-pilot, we had to steer manually 24 hours a day, trading positions at the helm every 2 hours.
Finally, we had always used the engine when cruising after dark. We had made round-the-clock passages before, but always with the engine and auto-pilot. None of our overnights had been longer than 50 hours, but this voyage would be six days under sail without an engine or an auto-pilot.
It was hard to convince ourselves to begin. It was a lot like sitting down to write and discovering sixteen things we needed to do before beginning the real task. We waited through one weather window by convincing ourselves it was too short. We waited through two days of the next weather window by convincing ourselves there was not enough wind. Unlike a writing project, we truly could not stop after we started, but like a writing project, we were beset with challenges to our successful completion. There was too much wind, or too little. An unanticipated current coupled with a lack of wind drove us south when we wanted to go north. We were battered by tempestuous seas, torrential downpours, and a wild ride in the Gulf Stream. We had to use every sailing skill we had ever learned or even heard of before we arrived at our destination. Was it a miracle that we arrived safely where we wanted to go?
I think it is exactly the same kind of miracle that happens when I finally complete a writing project and send it off to the editor I hope will love it. Before we departed on this voyage, we stood on the aft deck and prayed Psalm 62. This Psalm opens with these words:
For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from him comes my salvation.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall never be shaken.
We relied on God throughout our voyage. He kept the promise Jesus made to his followers as he ascended into heaven, saying, “I am with you always, to the end of the age.” We prayed at the end of each day, and we prayed through our troubles. When we looked up at a roiling wall of clouds filled with lightning and thunder, we prayed for courage. When we couldn’t figure out how to prevent ourselves from drifting onto a shallow bank, we prayed for guidance. When we had exhausted every skill we knew and still had not solved our problem, we prayed. We did not receive any ecstatic visions nor were we suddenly lifted out of our troubles. Instead, God nudged us in a more fruitful direction. He led us to rethink the obvious and see what was not obvious before.
It was a lot like helping a baby learn to walk. When the baby falls down, Mother doesn’t run every time and pick the baby up. Instead, she encourages him to laugh and try again. This is what God did for us, and like the baby, we learned and grew in the process.
The same thing happens when I write. God doesn’t write the piece for me. He doesn’t dictate the words. He inspires me to use to the fullest every gift he has given me. Then, after I have exhausted my gifts and my skills, he leads me one step further. I grow and mature, and like the baby learning to walk, I gain confidence and competence. I become more than I was when I started.
If anyone asked us now what was the best part of our trip this year, I would answer, “The voyage home.” We embarked on that passage due to a problem we could not solve, but making that passage blessed us in ways we could never have anticipated. We learned things we would never have learned if everything had continued to work as expected. It took God’s surprise to yank us out of our comfort zone so we could grow up as sailors. I think it is a miracle when God leads us to use his gifts to exhaustion and then, after we realize we must depend on him, he takes us forward to his wonderful surprise. He leads us to come fully alive.
That is what happens when I write, too. Some projects take me way beyond my comfort zone as a writer. I fidget. I check my email. I remember that I didn’t put cinnamon on my grocery list. I know I need to wade into my writing project, but it is hard. I see my goal, just as we could look at our charts and see our sailing destination, but I don’t see how to get there, just as we could not initially see how to escape a powerful current. I need to pray Psalm 62 and truly wait on the Lord. My own abilities are used up. I have stretched myself as far as I can go. If God wants me to write this project, then he will have to lead me. Like the baby learning to walk, I have fallen down, but like the encouraging mother, God calls my name and says, “Look here. Come to me!”
Katherine Harms
www.katherineharms.com
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